Funnies Horseman’s Vocabulary Colt What your mare always gives you when you want a filly. Contracted foot The involuntary/instant reflex of curling one’s toes up right before a horse steps on your foot. Endurance ride The end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you in the woods. Fences Decorative perimeter structures built to give a horse something to chew on, scratch against and jump over. Founder The discovery, of your loose mare-some miles from your farm, usually in a flower bed or cornfield.
Used like- Hey, honey, I found’er. Gallop The customary gait a horse chooses when returning to the barn Green Broke The color of the face of the person who has just gotten the training bill from the Big Name Trainer. Grooming The fine art of brushing the dirt from one’s horse and applying it to your own body. Hobbles Describes the walking gait of a horse owner after their foot has been stepped on by their horse. Hock The financial condition that a horse owner goes into. Horse shoes Expensive semi-circular projectiles that horses like to throw. Lameness The condition of most riders after the first few rides each year; can be a chronic condition in weekend riders. Lead Rope A long apparatus instrumental in the administration of rope burns.
Also used by excited horses to take a handler for a drag Lunging A training method a horse uses on its owner with the purpose of making the owner spin in circles-rendering the owner dizzy and light-headed so that they get sick and pass out, so the horse can go back to grazing. Over-reaching A descriptive term used to explain the condition your credit cards are in by the end of show season. Race What your heart does when you see the vet bill. Ringworms Spectators who block your view and gather around the rail sides at horse shows. Saddle An expensive leather contraption manufactured to give the rider a false sense of security.comes in many styles, all feature built-in ejector seats. Saddle Sore The way the rider’s bottom feels the morning after the weekend at the horse show. Sleeping Sickness A disease peculiar to mare owners while waiting for their mares to foal.
Caused by nights of lost sleep, symptoms include irritability, red baggy eyes & a zombie-like waking state.
Can last several weeks. Splint An apparatus that can be applied to various body parts of a rider due to the parting of the ways of a horse and his passenger. Versatility An owners ability to shovel manure, fix fences and chase down a loose horse in one afternoon. Whip Marks The tell-tale raised welts on the face of a rider-caused by the trail rider directly in front of you letting a low hanging branch go.
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